2020: WTF Is Going On?
--
Faith Put To The Test
It’s been a hell of a year, and I’m sure I don’t need to regurgitate the dilemmas we’ve faced, the out-of-the-ordinary circumstances and relentless problems. The question is, what now? What’s next? And, will it get better?
I’ve been around the sun 45 times, and have never witnessed anything quite like 2020. Luckily, my faith is strong and my foundation also, but what about the people without such? Those I have compassion for that’s for sure.
This ain’t no unicorn parade.
We need to love hard to get through this and extend ourselves to those in need. Sure, we’ve had plenty to deal with on our own, worrying about ourselves and our own families- but those of us that have a little bit of extra to offer others in times of crisis now is the time.
The scary part is it could be much worse. As far as viruses are concerned, consider the Covid Era a test drill in a way- at least we now know what to expect. A shortage of guns and toilet paper for starters.
What’s made all the difference in my life is my faith, optimism, and choice to keep moving, to keep pushing along through all of the trials and tribulations. As a creative artist type, one thing I made sure of is that I was not gonna stop creating as long as I could help it.
During the dark times of this past year, I chose to plug away and keep making stuff intended to inspire others: writing, podcasts, sketch-comedy, and other works. I’ve just kept it going without being too critical of the work or worried about profiting from it. I’ve felt this is the time to step up and give it all ya got. So I’ve persevered through this mental shit-show to the best of my ability.
Its been a process of surrender, of not worrying about my image, and total focus on serving others in any way possible, doing what I’m good at, while also experimenting with new stuff.
Art (in any form) is never just about the artist, the whole point is to create something that can be shared.
Sometimes artists get a bad rap for being self-centered or self-involved, etc. But an extreme “self” relationship is needed to really dig in and utilize the “zone”. It’s kind of like soul mining or digging for treasures, and it takes courage to wander into new depths of the imagination and to gallop through the ethers in search of the unknown- the new gems lurking in the darkness.
It has been no picnic. I’ve been very scared at times. My faith has been fully tested, along with my manhood and every damn part of me. If this era hasn’t challenged you in the least, perhaps you are very well advanced, or maybe you are an alien.
However, lingering in fear is no way to live. We can accept the challenge and do our best to maintain a loving environment and keep our optimism intact. The universe is made of love, but within it are many scary things. Just as the ocean is full of a very diverse variety of life (including predators), so is our beautiful and mysterious universe, and so are our hearts.
To really explore one's own heart, one must have the courage and strength to face what one may find. Whether that be a goldmine of awesomeness, or ugly rooms full of shrapnel and skeleton bones. Diversity is complex and must exist in order for love to exist. Love can only exist because of fear.
There are days where I’ve wanted to eat lots of lettuce or resort to beer. For those of us familiar with recovery and addictions- this has been a very intense time. Don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t been an angel. Just be aware of your choices and realize you always have the power to make different ones.
I’m living proof that taking more steps towards self-care works, opens doors, and makes life more magical. Despite the shit-show times, things have been lining up for me left and right since I decided I don’t want to do anything that sucks, since I started taking better care of myself, and started giving more freely of myself (including putting a ton of creative works out in the world FOR FREE).
I don’t have to worry much about money, I’ve got a great place to live, and I’ve got all the time and space in the world to create and spend time with loved ones. My life is good. It could be even sweeter (and it will be the more I get out of my own way and learn to love myself more).
We don’t have to be ultra productive machines or compete with anybody.
Some of us aren’t gonna make the superhero roster, we just ain’t. We ain’t gonna be working overtime, feeding a family of four, and running marathons during a world pandemic. We’re not gonna have it in us to paint a perfect picture of our lives on social media when the truth is we’re scared. lonely, and fed up.
But we can be extremely resilient beings, and we will get through this. We will proceed through thick and thin. We will proceed.
Godspeed 2021, this large question mark ain’t no fun.
